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SUMMER is approaching, and with it music festivals booking legacy acts for lazy nostalgia draws. These acts will stretch out their 15 minutes of fame for an excruciating 40. AN office worker is struggling to remember how to look busy while accomplishing nothing after four days of total leisure. THE world is mourning Po
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News
Ironic: Woman enjoys true crime despite not wanting to be murdered
1+ week, 5+ day ago (423+ words) A WOMAN who listens to podcasts about violent crime in every spare moment would prefer never to be the victim of a violent crime herself, she has admitted. Crime aficionado Mary Fisher loves nothing more than tales of innocent women…...
Your astrological week ahead for August 29th, with Psychic Bob
2+ week, 2+ day ago (485+ words) Aries, March 21st–April 19th They say Elvis died on the toilet. But in another way, the toilet was where he truly lived. Taurus, April 20th–May 20th Happy birthday to my best friend’s beautiful fiancée who smells great and I like to hug…...
Man forced to confront own horniness by age verification check
2+ week, 4+ day ago (425+ words) THE abyss of an age verification check has gazed back at a man preparing to prove he is old enough to access pornography. Before accessing the finest free smut the internet has to offer, aspiring masturbator Tom Booker must first…...
Bride clearly angling bouquet toward specific friend
3+ week, 2+ day ago (462+ words) A NEWLYWED woman throwing her bouquet is very obviously trying to ensure it lands in the hands of a particular unwed friend. Despite it being her special day selfless bride Carrie Ryan is making sure the bouquet, bringing with it…...
Homeless people are untidy, Britain reluctantly agrees
3+ week, 4+ day ago (447+ words) DESPITE the UK’s natural unwillingness to help the unfortunate, Burnham’s plan to end rough sleeping has won support because they are rather scruffy. Britons have agreed that much as they are against kindness on principle, if it makes their town…...
Teacher doesn't give a toss what ex-pupil doing now
3+ week, 4+ day ago (549+ words) A secondary school teacher could not care less what some kid they taught 20 years ago is up to these days. Upon being approached by a former pupil while doing the big shop, history teacher Martin Bishop made it clear he…...